Would that I could but know myself, as Erasmus advises when compiling his ‘Proverbs’ from contemporaneous literature. If I did know myself, perhaps I would feel less bewildered by life, and by the times in which I live. I crave understanding and meaning, and always have done, since being a little tot. I don’t know why, and I have more questions than answers, as in the song. I look back to Seneca, and to Socrates, to Shakespeare and Confucius. I know I am not alone in this unmapped territory but the fact that I am not does not ease the dis-ease of my mindset. I read alot, but that which I can understand doesn’t enlighten me, and the stuff I don’t understand simply adds to the confusion. In the much quoted (by me) Ian Dury ‘ There ain’t ‘arf been some clever bastards’. So cleverness can’t help me. Once upon a time, I though that Love must hold the answer, but I am loved, and I love in return, and my feelings of utter desperation to hold on to something I cannot grasp still return, and threaten a sense of well being. To ease the anxiety, I find like minds and decide to enjoy the ride. Hope you are well, hope you find your way in the world. Hope I do. What concerns me now is whether the children I have had will be trapped in the same headlights as me. Hope not. They are on their own journeys, perhaps ones that have maps. Hope so.
Here’s a great link, well two actually . Different in treatment but attacking the same theme, how to manage you own mini madness. Enjoy.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/how-to-be-emotionally-stable-without-getting-bored/
