New Horizons

For Robert

Take this down, and think of it
my sweet boy, first born, now
in love, and knowing the  pain.
There is never separation
when hearts join.

I know this, and you know it too,
since half of eight years
I have lived goodbye to you.

Tender is the heart, but
silk is the strongest thread;
so hearts do withstand the
pull and push, the thrust.

Take this to you heart,
and know it’s true. All life
that loves, will its heart
renew.

I feel very much on the outside now, my two sons are growing into young adulthood, and my own life is going to have to embrace some change.  Watching my eldest prepare for his new horizons provokes similar anxieties I experienced thirty odd years ago.  I was not brave enough to pack my bags and leave my home town behind, a decision I have reflected on a lot over the years.  I had been encouraged to do so by all the influences around me, family, school, and friends, and yet did not believe in myself enough to know I would cope with the changes.  I am proud that my son can look to change, and know he is equipped to cope. And some of the change is bringing its pain already, having to live in a city away from his girlfriend, when his immediate want is to spend his time now, with her.  He shows a maturity I did not have , and was not to have for some time. I wish him all the good fortune he deserves, and more than good fortune, I want to celebrate for him, the gifts he already possesses, diligence, forbearance, humour, and a willingness to engage with an imperfect world with spirit, and with soul. I hope he can always feel the love I have for him. It has astonished me, and fulfilled me in a way he cannot yet fully appreciate. I do not long for my own youth back; I see his, and am delighted.
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